alt:
"vi.
I was telling this lady every bad thing I had ever done in my life but she didn’t seem particularly impressed. She had a look like the toll booth lady when you’d hand her money out of the car window on the Mass Pike back when you still had to do that.
I had finally managed to find a new therapist on the computer after a couple dozen said I wasn’t their problem or my insurance company told me to go fuck myself so I was sitting there with the sunny window behind me making me look like dogshit on the Zoom. It seemed like she was distracted and probably had her own thing going on in fairness. At one point she was bouncing a kid she pulled from offstage out of nowhere onto her lap and that’s… fine (?) How expensive childcare is now and so on. So I was thrown off my game and out of practice for how to talk in therapy or talk to anyone. How you sort of flirt with a new therapist early on so they’ll like you and want to fix your brain more than if you are just some guy who more evident"
