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  "The claim centers on Springfield, Ohio, a small city a bit southwest of the state capital of Columbus. A screenshot of a Facebook post purportedly from a local resident warns that the author’s neighbor’s daughter’s friend had discovered that her neighbors — supposedly Haitian immigrants — were trying to eat her cat. She also claimed (this time crediting “Rangers & police”) that similar fates were befalling ducks and geese at a local park."

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• alt:

  "Girl from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
  
  My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."

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createdAt:

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